You are not the jealous type, but do you ever feel like your girl is cheating or up to something? Use these signs to determine whether her eye is wandering.

You can’t pinpoint what it is, exactly, but the feeling is just too strong: something is different. That very strong feeling is called intuition. Apparently, males have it, too. Hurray! The problem with intuition is it’s just that—intuition. It’s just a guide for you in finding out the truth. Until you have solid proof of her infidelity, you can’t accuse your girlfriend of cheating.

And if she really is cheating on you, you can’t confront her empty-handed, or else she might just deny it and start cleaning up her act. Unless done in a relaxed, honest approach, it’s better to have enough specific proof before having “the talk.”

20 signs that your woman might be cheating on you

#1 She suddenly becomes dreamy. You know what “in love” looks and feels like. It’s a kind of high that’s impossible to hide. If you notice her smiling and blushing like a teenage girl when she’s checking her phone or during random moments, it’s possible that she’s in love with someone else.

But, you know, having giddy feelings doesn’t mean she is cheating. She could be giddy for a lot of reasons. It could be that she has a harmless crush, she remembered something funny, or she’s thinking of shopping.

#2 She’s buying way too much sexy lingerie. If she’s always been content wearing granny panties and, all of the sudden, she raids the mall for the sexiest lingerie available, you have to wonder why. Admittedly, she could just be in the mood to have a makeover. Come on—any woman can buy sexy lingerie, just because. Just make sure she’s wearing it for you. If her intimacy level is low, but her lingerie collection is piling up, it’s not a good sign.

#3 She now enjoys her independence. She used to be clingy with you, by bombarding you with texts all day. Many times, you felt choked by her lack of independence—but all of the sudden, she’s okay without you. She rarely texts you and has no issues with you not texting her, either. Chances are, she’s having way too much fun without you.

#4 She won’t let you touch her phone anymore. You used to freely use and explore each other’s phones and gadgets, simply because there was nothing to hide. You do not spy on her by reading her messages, though. You just enjoyed tinkering with each other’s stuff. But now, her phone and gadgets are off-limits. Unless you suspect that she’s planning a surprise party for you, it’s cause for alarm.

#5 She exits when answering calls. Why would she go to the bathroom to answer phone calls, when she used to let you hear every conversation she had? Again, if your birthday is not around the corner, be wary.

#6 She deletes her search history. So, you got really suspicious of all the changes you noticed with her and you now want to investigate. The first thing you probably want to check is her search history. You expect to see articles on infidelity but you’re left hanging; all you see is a blank page. She has deleted her search history. You check again the next week, and find the same thing. Since when did this become a habit of hers? Unless she’s keeping something else from you *she’s shy that she’s watching porn, she’s searching for a new job and you’re against it, etc*, then it’s a sign, brother.

#7 Wandering eyes. When you’re out in public, her eyes scan the area as if she’s looking for someone. She’s either wanting or dreading a chance encounter with her lover. You will notice that she just isn’t as relaxed and focused as before.

#8 She mumbles when she says, “I love you.” It doesn’t automatically mean that she’s cheating, but this could be a sign that she’s not that into you anymore, and she feels icky saying those words. It could also simply be because she’s tired of saying it every single day. Some women get lazy, too, you know. When coupled with at least five of the signs on this list, though, it’s a sign of something else.

#9 She avoids intimacy. Most of us get bored with sex if we’ve been with the same person for more than three years. However, if a simple touch makes her cringe or cry, or her interest in sex has completely vanished, she could be cheating, or checking out emotionally. Either way, you need to talk.

#10 She doesn’t seem connected when you make love. Let’s say she still “agrees” to make love to you, but you notice she’s stiff and boring as a log. She used to be very intimate, but now it’s as if she’s just doing it to avoid confrontation. It could be her fluctuating hormones, or it could be because she’s found someone she’s more connected to.

#11 She suddenly becomes inspired—too inspired. Aside from doing a makeover, she now also paints, writes poems *possibly about forbidden love*, and is going to the gym on a daily basis. Again, it could just be an innocent transformation. Why be suspicious if your woman tries to improve herself and chase the things she’s passionate about? You’d sound crazy if you accused her of infidelity when she just wants to improve herself. Maybe the best thing to do, here, is just go through her poems and check for hidden messages.

#12 She becomes quickly irritated with you. And she’s not afraid to show her annoyance. It’s as if everything you do turns her off. The possible reason for that is that she’s now comparing you to the one she’s seeing on the side. It upsets her that you can’t be like him.

#13 She asks for space. If you’re not the clingy, controlling, manipulative type, but she still wants space, what she really wants is for you leave her for a bit, so she can do her thing without feeling guilty, and without technically cheating.

#14 She seems like she’s on autopilot. You see her doing the things she normally does on a daily basis but there’s something different about her—it’s as if she’s an empty shell. She’s physically present, yet her mind and heart are elsewhere. She’s pretending to act normal so you won’t get suspicious, but you can tell.

#15 She is now spending most of her time with her best friends. Before, she used to be too busy to be with her friends, but now, she’s hanging out with them more often. She’s probably telling them juicy stories about her new guy. She has a lot to share, but she obviously can’t talk to you about it, so she has to go to her girlfriends or she will burst.

#16 She’s having a quarter or midlife crisis. There are studies that show that women undergoing these crises have a higher tendency to stray in relationships. That’s when they start to question their life choices—including you. If you see her depressed and obsessing about where her life is going, that’s a sign that she’s dealing with a crisis.

#17 She can’t forget that you once cheated. You hurt her once, when she found out that you cheated. You said it will not happen again, but she still doesn’t believe you. However, she loves you so much she can’t leave you, either. If you cheated on her once, she won’t be as guilty when she gives in to temptation. In fact, a part of her might actually be relieved to know that she’s still attractive and that she can do to you what you did to her.

#18 She expressed that she wants out. She’s been telling you that she wants out, but you keep begging her or making her feel guilty for it. You do not want to listen. You have big issues in your relationship, but you keep shrugging it off. In that case, cheating is not as big an issue as what you already have. Do not be surprised if you find out she’s cheating, because the bigger problem is your relationship.

#19 She seems excited when you go away for days. She used to feel melancholic when you told her you had a business trip for a week, but now you notice her eyes twinkling. She might say she will miss you, but a part of her is jumping for joy.

#20 She’s spending way too much time in the office. She has too many deadlines, she needs to go to conventions on weekends, and other work-related activities that may or may not be excuses she’s making just to be with her guy. Do not spy on her like a crazy dog, though. There’s a chance you’ll humiliate her—and yourself—for nothing.

Here’s the tricky thing: your partner could be doing all of these signs, but still not having an affair. Yes, it is absolutely possible. So, what should you do? Use the signs above as a guide for you in expressing your suspicion. That way, when you talk, she’ll know where you’re coming from and you’re giving her a chance to explain herself clearly, point by point.

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